Dear *redacted*,
Your magic will not work as long as you continue to behave and act like a snake, not that you do a good job of it anyways because it only took about 2 months to realize. If this is the life your ancestors have provided for you, I question whether they were actually them or something else. Your perpetual hell will continue, and I think you wholeheartedly deserve it. This circle jerk will be your final fall, and you are definitely reincarnating, but I don’t think as a human, something more helpless than you feel now.
Dear *redacted*,
You are a bum. There is nothing you could teach me, because you have no qualities that I think are admirable. The reason people don’t like you is because everyone can tell you’re on something, even if we don’t what it is. You have the emotional volatility of a toddler, and being around you is like having to lower myself to your level of intelligence. The violence that seeps off of your skin is palpable, and awaiting the countdown of your inevitable blow up is something I would rather watch from as far away as possible. Be kinder to your son.